27 January 2006

Today in the Science News: Part 5: Miscellaneous

Alternate title for this part: Articles I Linked So I Could Make a Stupid Joke And/Or Mock Scientists And/Or Idiot Reporters who Obviously Still Live with Their Moms. What do you think? Too wordy?

Sea levels to rise dramatically, flooding Houston!:
Actually, they didn't mention Houston at all, but it is at sea level, so I threw that in. I just think it's funny when researchers try to predict climate trends based on 130 years of data.

Land snail traveled 5500 miles across ocean:
By hitching a ride on a bird. The researchers wonder what sort of bird it was, but I think we all know it was a swallow. Whether it was an African or a European swallow is up for debate, however.

Pseudoscorpions produce more and healthier young by mating with several unrelated males:
I linked this article only because of the following sentence-and-a-half: "Biology seems to have a thing against inbreeding. Besides being gross from a human perspective..." Does that really strike you as mature writing? Who uses the word "gross" (in the "Eeeww!" meaning) in a serious science news article? Or says "have a thing against," for that matter? What is this kid, 17?

And also, DUH! Of course biology doesn't reward inbreeding. Did you study genetics at all, kid? I mean, your next sentence goes on to explain, but you apparently don't realize that it's so bleeding obvious that it doesn't need to be stated. Go back to tenth grade, punk.

That's all of today's science news. Thanks for consuming it here. Come back again!


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