10 February 2006

A very special week in the Batt's comics section

I have a feeling my readers will enjoy this. Evidently the artist is familiar with the Cool Facts about Chuck Norris.


(click to enlarge)

The real question is: when will Dick Cheney be making an appearance?

Incidentally, I notice when previewing that the image is still a bit small and the text is hard to read. I can't control what Blogger does to an image when I upload it, so here is the script:
Prof: Alright guys, today we're going to be talking about famous Americans. And you're in luck, because we have a special guest.
Student: George Bush? Oprah Winfrey?
Prof: Nope. Chuck Norris.
Prof: Now I'll open the floor to questions for our guest, Mr. Chuck Norris.
Student: Mr. Norris, how do you even use accounting in your line of work?
Chuck: It helps me count the bodies.
Student: Mr. Norris, this may sound stupid, but can I train with you?
Chuck: What's stupid is you thinking that I would allow a spy into my dojo to steal the secret technique of my roundhouse kick. [This is my favorite line by far.]
Student: What?
Chuck: Who sent you? Sadaam? Jean Claude? I have many enemies.
Chuck: Before you train with me, I have to know that I can trust you. TOUCH MY BEARD.
Student: Excuse me?
Chuck: Touch it.
Chuck: Now your training can begin.
Student: Woah.
Student: Mr. Norris...are you sure this will improve my martial arts skills?
Chuck: How would you like to wear my fist as a retainer?
Student: I'm washing, I'm washing. [That's a truck in the background, drawn very lightly.]
Hope y'all enjoy the strips. I know I did.

(Of course, my all-time favorite Batt comic is still the Dunn Boyz strip in which the main character purchases a George W. Bush cardboard cutout for his room, and when his roommate protests, responds, "But I was bipartisan on the purchase! I stopped by the Halloween store and got a Kerry cutout, too!" and proudly displays a Frankenstein's monster cutout.)

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Totally off topic, but I saw a special about "Top 100 Child Actors/Celebrities" on VH1 this week, and Ilen Mitchell Smith was featured. You know, "Wyatt" from WEIRD SCIENCE? Apparently, he's now a professor of medieval history at..........Texas A&M. How cool is that?

The special was kind of funny, and kind of pathetic at the same time. Leif Garrett is a big 'ol junkie now (his mug shot from the January heroin bust makes him look like Danny Noonan from Caddyshack, but maybe that's just me), Kristi McNichol is recovering from bipolar disorders and is out of acting, and that little kid from the last couple of years of "One Day At A Time" runs an independent TV station in Arizona with his "domestic partner" - which brings up another point. It seems like there are quite a few child stars who've come out of the closet since their fame wore off. Does it seem like they're disproportionate to the number of gay people in society, or do they come out more often due to their fame and the worries about people "outing" them?

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