31 May 2006

Review: New Treasure Seekers

I absolutely love E. Nesbit's children's books, from The Book of Dragons to The Railway Children, and her series about the Bastables is no exception. I've read most of them on Project Gutenberg, since Nesbit is hard to find in bookstores. (Frances Hodgson Burnett is even harder. All they ever have is The Secret Garden and A Little Princess, both of which I like and have, but neither holds a candle to The Lost Prince. The White People is also excellent.)

The trouble with Project Gutenberg is that they have only books on which the copyright has expired. So every so often, I run across a work I haven't read on PG, and immediately snap it up. New Treasure Seekers, by E. Nesbit, was one of these.

This is the third book about the exploits of the Bastable family, of which Oswald, the narrator, is the primary character. The family is rather large (two girls and four boys). Nesbit prefers to portray down-to-earth children, who get dirty and get into trouble just like any kid*, except that the Bastables get into much more trouble than the average kid is capable of causing. She even makes a reference (in another book; I forget which) to Little Lord Fauntleroy, the hero of Burnett's eponymous work, as being "quite a frightful prig."

(Speaking of references, on the very first page of The Magician's Nephew, Lewis mentions "the Bastables digging for treasure on Lewisham Road.")

Thus, Nesbit is capable of delivering a highly entertaining tale that despite having a moral, never gets preachy, a fault that Burnett and Louisa May Alcott both have. The books are also often educational (I am thinking of The Story of the Amulet, in which a group of children travel to several ancient civilizations, including Babylon, Atlantis, and ancient Egypt, and also travel into England's future), but never didactic.

That being said, I personally felt that this book was not as strong as the others in the Bastable sequence that I've read. For one thing, the chapters seemed oddly disconnected, as some were memories of events that had obviously taken place long before events in even the previous two books, but the narrator does not make the timing clear. For another, the book greatly suffered from the near absence of my favorite character, a grownup known only as "Albert's uncle." Albert's uncle may not have a great deal of "stage time" in the first two, but he does provide a perspective that is highly amusing to the adult reader, particularly in terms of the bafflement of the children who are narrating.

Nesbit is always worth reading, whether she is writing for an audience of children or for adults (I think her short story collection, In Homespun, which can be found at PG, is outstanding), but this particular work is slightly below the level of quality I've come to expect from her.


*This does not include me. I got into trouble in preschool because I refused to finger paint due to my desire to keep my hands clean.

Exciting News

Today, I signed not one, but two patent applications, for the device I helped design last co-op tour. I am one of three innovators listed on both.

Yes, that's correct. I will have two patents, at the tender age of 23.

Damn, I'm good.

30 May 2006

Today's random fact about which none of my readers care

In tonight's victory, Craig Biggio tied Hank Aaron for ninth on the all-time doubles list.

Trivia question: Craig Biggio is only the second player in history to have at least 50 doubles and 50 stolen bases in one season (he did it in 1998). Who is the other? (No fair looking it up, of course.)


Update: I'll reveal one more letter every hour*. Let's start with R.

_ R _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ R


*By "every hour" I mean "every time I think of it, and right now I've got to read up on our organizational structure at work, so it'll probably be midnight before I remember I posted an update, much less a foolish promise to reveal another letter every hour."

Just so we're clear.

Update II: As guessed in the comments, it is indeed Tris Speaker, a famous center fielder from the dead ball era. He is top of the doubles list with 792. Craig will take sole possession of ninth with his next double, #625, and eighth is Honus Wagner with 640. Biggio currently has 20 doubles in 54 games, putting him on track for 60 doubles this season. I don't really think he is going to hit 60 doubles this season, but he has hit at least 40 the last three seasons, which would pass Honus and possibly Carl Yastrzemski (he needs 43 for that).

By the way, MLB.com has a Milestone Tracker, which I hadn't run across before. It's pretty nifty.

New Policy Statement

Michael's not the only one who can make policy statements (which he then ignores, I might add). If you'll look at my sidebar, you'll notice that I have added a statement indicating that all emails sent to me are subject to being posted and then mocked.

So the question is, would it be bad if I were to post and mock an email that was sent to me prior to the publishing of this policy?

Of course, with some people, it's just so hard to resist:
Some of the remaining proceeds from the sale of the shirts will go to the campaign to elect the first woman president (and I do not care who she is, what her personal philosophy is, or which party claims her) because the worst woman will still probably be better than the best man. And by the way guys, if you were to turn it all over to the women, you could sit around on the couch and watch the atheletes [sic] manipulate a ball (on the field) or actors glorify violence and disrespect (on the screen), even longer than you do now. So you see, it is a win/win situation.
Yes, this is a man.

Discussing his motivation behind creating his line of women's clothing, he notes:

I have been sitting on the porch out here, for about ten years now. Watching the male golfers bring their (measurement) issues out to the driving range with them. Watching about 99.9% of them having their progress hindered by those issues. Knowing that if they can’t even leave those issues at home when it is time to play a game, that they will certainly bring them to the table when it is time to deal with the important things like power, politics, famine, war, environment, etc... men appear to be concerned only with instant gratification, and possessing no inclination to endeavor.

The men have screwed it up long enough! It is time to give the women an opportunity to see how they can do. No way they could do any worse than the men have. I am ashamed of the way we have behaved toward women from the beginning of time. I can know everything I need to know about a society by the way they treat their women. Women are the superior of the sexes!

Wow. Just...wow.

How did this guy find me? Does he just troll (in the sense of fishing) for women's blogs and then email the hapless bloggers?

I was going to complain that I'm obviously conservative, but then I realized I haven't posted anything political in quite some time. That's because the major issue at the moment is immigration, and I'm too pissed off to be able to post coherently. (It's my money that's going to have to pay for all these damn illegal aliens' health care and such. Also, they can collect Social Security, but a teacher can't? What the hell?)

Anyway, my position on the matter of "women's empowerment" is that it's all BS. I work in engineering, which is a male-dominated field, and I have never been treated differently because of being female. You want to know why? Because I don't expect to be treated differently. It never even crosses my mind that someone could possibly treat me differently. And the result is that no one does.

Also, since he judges societies by the way they treat their women, I am certain he abhors Islamist societies and strongly supports the War on Terror, which has brought increase in liberty and even voting rights to many women. I'm also certain that he would fully support President Rice in her every endeavor.

I'm not going to post the email itself, since it was sent prior to my making the policy statement, but I will note that in the postscript, he inquired as to what an RPG is. (I have RPGs listed among my interests in my profile.) I'm tempted to reply and tell him that it's a rocket-propelled grenade.

*tosses ice cube*

*sits back and waits*


(The ice cube is a reference to Buyer's Remorse (click "Pre-made" then select Buyer's Remorse from the drop-down menu), in case you were wondering. In this case, I'm using it to symbolize my desire to hear from a certain individual so that I may then brag to him about my exciting news.)

(It's really super-exciting!)

(In fact, it's extra-exclamation-point exciting!!)

(!!!)

29 May 2006

Happy Memorial Day

Ok, so I'm a little late with this post, but enjoy your last few hours of Memorial Day. And please take a minute, or two or three, to remember that we are free because of the blood and treasure expended by our armed forces.

25 May 2006

Dogblogging

Ok, I'm jumping on the bandwagon. Here is my well-beloved but not well-behaved Pepper.


Waiting.


A rare action shot of Pepper barking, which I assure you she does quite often. Yes, the roof of her mouth really is pink and black.


Pepper on guard.


Looking the wrong way when I'm trying to take her picture.


Who says dogs don't smile?

Still not convinced? Then look at the next one.


And that's only a half-smile for her. I couldn't get her to do a full-on smile for the camera, but she greets us with them when we come home.

Yes, one of her eyes is blue and the other is half-brown half-blue, and no, her vision isn't impaired (people ask us that a lot). Goofy eye coloration is an Australian shepherd trait.

Even with the scabbity-nose, Pepper kicks ass all over y'all's dogs in the cuteness department. And just imagine how cute she was when she was a little puppy.

"Rhythm method" kills embryos

If you're anything like me, your first reaction to this headline was, "What...the...?!"

The range of birth control choices may have become narrower for couples that believe the sanctity of life begins when sperm meets egg. The rhythm method, a philosopher claims, may compromise millions of embryos.

“Even a policy of practising condom usage and having an abortion in case of failure would cause less embryonic deaths than the rhythm method,” writes Luc Bovens, of the London School of Economics, in the Journal of Medical Ethics.

I must admit I'm a bit baffled as to what qualifies an economist to speak as an expert on appropriate birth control methods from either a biological or an ethical perspective. Naturally, we all have our layman's opinions, but mine, at least, don't generally get published in peer-reviewed journals.
As many as 50% of conceptions may not survive long enough even to disrupt menstruation, Bovens says. It is reasonable to assume then, he adds, that embryos created from sperm that has been sitting for days within the female's reproductive tract before ovulation may be disadvantaged.

The situation is similar, he suggests, for eggs that have been waiting around for sperm to arrive. These are the only two likely scenarios where fertilisation might occur using the rhythm method, he points out.

These embryos may then face a less-than-ideal uterine lining, he points out, since the uterus is not as receptive outside of the most fertile period.

Bovens calculates that, if the rhythm method is 90% effective, and if conceptions outside the fertile period are about twice as likely to fail as to survive, then “millions of rhythm method cycles per year globally depend for their success on massive embryonic death”.

So his entire article is based on bullshit. I see.
“If you’re concerned about embryonic death,” Bovens says, “you’ve got to be consistent here and give up the rhythm method.”

Roger Gosden, at the Center for Reproductive Medicine and Infertility in New York, US, says: "It's quite plausible that more abnormal embryos are conceived at the limits of sperm - and especially egg - viability," he says, "and that these are more frequent in women practising rhythm contraception than those having unprotected intercourse at random stages of the menstrual cycle."

He recalls that at least one study found that Roman Catholics had higher rates of miscarriage, presumably, he says, due to aged gametes. "Actually confirming this is not easy, though," he admits.

This reminds me of when my world geography teacher (who was the biggest hypocrite you ever saw; he decried SUVs for their gas-guzzling ways but himself drove an ancient truck, and decried greedy capitalism but left teaching to work as a lawyer) announced that being vegetarian actually kills more animals, because the primary cause of death of animals is loss of habitat, and the primary cause of loss of habitat is - you guessed it - agriculture.

Bovens has enough time on his hands to make up pretentious bullshit to irritate people he doesn't like, but heaven forbid he do any actual research. His precious little fingers might get paper cuts.

I am appalled that a journal of medical ethics would publish such a paper.

24 May 2006

Other Summer Reading

I don't want to lose my rep for reading wicked fast, so here are capsule reviews of a handful of the other books I've read in between trying to get through the Canterbury Tales. They're mostly kids' books I picked out because they're quick reads or because I was trying to remember what I thought was so great about them in the first place.
  • The Girl with Silver Eyes by Willo Davis Roberts - I've always loved this book. The protagonist is a ten-year-old girl who, as you might suspect, has silver eyes. She also has telekinetic powers, like Dr. Grey, and finds them to be more of a burden than a gift. The book details her search for other children like her, and how she finally makes friends among some "normal" people (who usually shun her). Very timely read considering the film that is coming out Friday.
  • Tarzan at the Earth's Core by Edgar Rice Burroughs - I love Burroughs brain candy, especially Tarzan. Project Gutenberg has the first eight Tarzan books, but the remaining fourteen are still under copyright, so I spend a lot of time poking about the old paperback sections in resale bookstores. This one is the thirteenth in the series, and is a crossover with Burroughs's Pellucidar series, none of which I'd read. Our favorite ape-man journeys to Pellucidar, a country inside the Earth, to effect a daring rescue (is there any other kind?).
  • M.Y.T.H. Inc. in Action by Robert Asprin - The Myth books are quite amusing if you are a fan of heroic fantasy. These books poke fun at nearly every stereotype of such works. This particular one is told in the voice of Guido, who is a bodyguard in the Mob and has an indescribably funny way of talking. I'd been looking for this book for a while, as I have read all those preceding and they had ended on a bit of a cliffhanger, so I was glad to find it. In general, it didn't disappoint, though the meta-humor got a bit much at times. I can't even begin to explain the plot, since these books are not really stand-alone, so it's up to you to mosey down to your local library and check out the series. The first one is called Another Fine Myth.
  • Going on Sixteen by Betty Cavanna - Betty Cavanna generally writes coming-of-age books about teenage girls. They're ridiculously wholesome. Julie, the main character in this one, is a very shy girl with considerable artistic talent. Through her love for a dog and through said talent, she overcomes her shyness and gets the guy. It's all good.
  • Several Hank the Cowdog books, by John R. Erickson - Yes, I know, kids' books. In my defense, however, Erickson really didn't intend these to be kids' books when he started writing them. That's why the first five or six books are the best, because once you start writing with only kids in mind, the quality is going to suffer. (See Baum, Lyman Frank.) I do find these books quite amusing, and the tapes are well worth listening to, as Erickson reads them himself and does all the voices, in proper Texas accents. He even does the music (every book includes at least one song, generally performed by Hank).
I know there were some others, but that's all I can remember off the top of my head.

Review: The Canterbury Tales

After spending the last few days attempting to slog through the Canterbury Tales, I've had to grudgingly admit that there is some truth to Mark Twain's famous maxim that a classic is a book that everyone wants to have read but no one wants to read.

Now I personally have never put much stock in that particular quotation, because many of my favorite books are "classics," and I've generally found that books with that label are the most entertaining reads around. Pride and Prejudice, in addition to being my favorite romance, is also a comedy of manners and incisive social commentary (although we liberated 21st century folks miss some of the latter, since we lack the context that readers in Austen's day had). The Jungle Books are pages of fun with awesome poetry mixed in. (A friend had to rewrite his paper on the definition of poetry after running across one of Kipling's in my away message.) And David Copperfield is f'n hilarious.

The Canterbury Tales, however, have nothing to offer other than some impressive iambic pentameter.

Let's consider the Knight's tale. Theseus imprisons two morons - we'll call them Moron 1 and Moron 2, because I can't be bothered to remember their stupid names - in Athens, his city. The morons are cousins and "sworn brothers," which I think means they're really good friends. We won't speculate on just how good. Anyway, Moron 1 spots Emily, Theseus's sister-in-law, from a distance, and decides that he loves her. Moron 2 glances out the window and decides that he loves her too. Moron 1 points out that he saw her first, and Moron 2 says he saw her as a woman first, while Moron 1 was still debating whether she was a goddess. They nearly come to blows. And did I mention that she's the king's sister-in-law and they're prisoners? I hardly think it matters who saw her first.

So, after a while, Moron 2 gets released from prison, but on condition that he never show his face in Athens again. They argue over who has the harder lot - the one who never gets to see Emily again, or the one who's in frickin' prison. Moron 1 continues swooning over Emily, who of course has no idea what's going on, and Moron 2 heads back to Thebes (his hometown), mourning all the way. Eventually, he realizes that he looks so different from all his constant mourning and skipping meals that no one would recognize him. So he goes back and takes service in Theseus's palace, despite the fact that the penalty for returning is death.

Moron 1 eventually manages to escape from prison, and begins making his way out of town. He hides in a thicket to rest up or something...I wasn't clear as to why he was there...and Moron 2 shows up, mooning over Emily. In a monologue, Moron 2 reveals his true identity, whereupon Moron 1 leaps out of the bushes and denounces Moron 2 for trying to get to Emily, in whom he feels a most proprietary interest considering he's never made eye contact with her. The two start fighting.

Theseus, naturally, comes along at this unpropitious time, with his wife Hippolyta and Emily and a bunch of hangers-on who are dignified by the term "court." Moron 1 tells the whole story, starting off by tattling on Moron 2, and Theseus decides (rightly, in my opinion) that they should both be executed. But all the ladies of the court plead for mercy, and Theseus decides to grant it. He tells them to get 100 knights apiece and return to this spot, where they'll have a tournament, Moron 1 and his knights versus Moron 2 and his knights. The winner of the tournament gets Emily's hand. Emily, of course, is not consulted on the occasion. (Did I mention Theseus is just her brother-in-law? Since when does a brother-in-law have the right to bestow a woman's hand? Ok, maybe her father's dead and she doesn't have any blood brothers, but still.)

Everyone thinks this is a wonderful solution, despite the injuries and deaths that will no doubt result, and Morons 1 and 2 head back to Thebes to get their knights. The knights gotten and the parties returned to Athens, several prayers eventuate on the morning of the tournament. First, Moron 1 prays to Venus for her help, since he loves Emily and Venus is the goddess of love. (I wish I knew which specific term for love is used to refer to her domain. I abso-fuckin'-lutely guarantee it ain't the term for the romantic love that lasts.) Then Emily prays to Diana for her help, since she doesn't want to marry anyone. (I had considerable sympathy for her at this point.) Athena tells her she hasn't got a choice - it's ordained that she's going to marry one of them. Finally, Moron 2 prays to Mars for his help, since the lady's hand will be won with brute strength and Mars is the god of war.

Long story short, Venus and Mars get in a bit of squabble at Olympus, since each has promised victory to his or her penitent, and Saturn secretly agrees to help Venus. So Moron 2 wins the battle, but then, thanks to Saturn, his horse trips and he's mortally wounded. After suffering for many days, during which Emily weeps and laments, which I didn't understand at all, he finally bites the dust, and Theseus gives Emily's hand to Moron 1.

The end.

We won't even discuss the Miller's tale. I've read some disgusting stuff, but that was nasty. I've also read the Wife of Bath's tale, and she's a whore. I read a few more tales before deciding this evening that it wasn't worth it.

Yes, the poetry is impressive, and it is sort of interesting to see how words and phrases have evolved...or at least, it would be if I didn't fully disclaim any and all interest in etymology. But the tales themselves are either f'n boring or absolutely disgusting.

I recommend that no one read this book.

Ever.


(For those who might be curious, the reason I didn't read the Tales in high school like everyone else, including the old guy who was waiting in line behind me when I went to get my vehicle registration renewed, is that I was in the International Baccalaureate program, and we focused on world literature. I am glad that we were exposed to such a wide range of cultures, though I could have done without the culture of incest, bestiality, and pedophilia revealed to me by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, but sorry that I missed out on English literature. So when I'm not reading brain candy, I'm almost always catching up on some of the EngLit I normally would have covered in school.)

20 May 2006

Blog Maintenance & Miscellanity

I've updated the sidebar, including the blogroll and links of interest. If you've blogrolled me and I haven't returned the favor, please drop a note in the comments. (I guarantee the omission is unintentional.)

The new link of interest is the summer reading post, which will be updated continually as I keep reading. I'll also post a review of each book. Most reviews will actually deserve the name rather than going off on tangents regarding obsolete computer games.

Finally, Brian B links to a fun quiz. My results:

Your Linguistic Profile::
55% General American English
30% Dixie
5% Upper Midwestern
0% Midwestern
0% Yankee

I'm disappointed I haven't got a higher percentage of Dixie, but very pleased at the 0% Yankee. And my favorite question was #5.


Update: Also, the quiz should have asked what you call this little guy, 'cause that's definitely regional. Personally, I say he's a doodlebug.

Review: The Amityville Horror

First of all: yes, I know it was a hoax. There are still plenty of people who believe it's true, though. I have to admit the arguments at the latter site are thought-provoking, though they ignore major points such as the hoofprint issue (there was no snow that day).

But considering it as simply a scary book, The Amityville Horror is fairly entertaining. The book is written in an odd style, half drily factual and half breathlessly credulous, with exclamation marks sprinkled throughout. Enjoying it fully does require suspending disbelief, forgetting that Anson made much of the story out of whole cloth.

Jodie definitely scared the crap out of me. I don't know why, but the idea of a pig with glowing red eyes that is seen by only the little girl, and apparently the dog, is just really scary. According to the believers' site I linked above, Jodie even followed the Lutzes to California.

The ceramic lion bit scared me, too, for much the same reason that topiaries scare me. (Yes, my fear of topiaries predates my reading of The Shining.) I can't stand topiaries. I can't help feeling that if I were to be near a topiary for a long period of time, I would start catching movement out of the corner of my eye. But when I would turn and look directly at the topiary, I would see nothing. So I would make sure of some mark near the topiary, such as a fallen branch near a foot. And I would turn back to my task. But then, I would see movement from the corner of my eye again, and this time when I looked back at the topiary, I would be almost - almost - certain it had moved. But I would be so unwilling to truly believe the topiary had moved that I would tell myself to stop being so foolish. Even when I caught movement from the corner of my eye for the third time, and looked sharply over to see that the foot was no longer in alignment with the fallen branch, I would still merely shake myself for being silly, and return to my task. I would put all thought of the topiary's movement out of my mind...

...Until it was too late.

This might come from Zork II, now that I think about it. If you stay in the garden too long, you eventually get a message about the topiaries moving. I've re-played all three Zorks as an adult, and seeing that message (I think I was waiting for a rockfall or something, and wanted to wait outside so I could turn the lantern off) sent a primal thrill of fear through my spine.

Damn topiaries.

Now where was I? Oh yes, Amityville. Between researching the hoax, which meant coming across other scary bits not mentioned in the text, and typing up that topiary scenario, I've thoroughly scared myself. So I will leave you all with this thought: If you like a good scary book, and are able to suspend disbelief, The Amityville Horror is not a bad choice.

Just don't read it late at night when you're the only one in the house.

Summer Reading

This is going to be a running list of books I've read this summer, with links to the reviews. I'll put a link to this post in the sidebar, since it'll be updated frequently.
  • The Amityville Horror by Jay Anson - Review
  • The Canterbury Tales by Chaucer - Review
  • Miscellanity by Various - Reviews
  • New Treasure Seekers by E. Nesbit - Review
  • The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi - Review
  • The Art of War by Sun Tzu - Review
  • The Dark is Rising sequence by Susan Cooper - Review
  • Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire - "Review" (I put the word in scare quotation marks because this post consists of one paragraph saying I liked the book and nine paragraphs of an unrelated segue)

Successful shopping trip

So there I was, following my friends around, mentally composing a rant against today's fashions that would have touched on, among other things, the difficulty inherent in finding clothes that are both fashionable and professional, and the fact that I've been waiting ten frickin' years for the f'n Sixties to go out of style.

And then I saw it. The cutest dress EVER. It's very Fifties...polka dots, poofy skirt, sash, the whole nine yards. And it couldn't fit me better if it had been made custom for me. I can't wait to wear it for swing dancing.

I also got a cute top. It was a little more money than I'd usually spend on myself, but my wallet is overflowing with cash at the moment thanks to graduating, and most of the money came with specific instructions to spend it frivolously.

19 May 2006

Summer Reading List

I'm starting with the books in my bookshelf that, for whatever reason, I haven't gotten around to reading yet. So, in no particular order:
  • The Amityville Horror by Jay Anson - Yes, I know it's BS.
  • The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer - You know, that nekkid guy in A Knight's Tale. He was kind of cool.
  • The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper
  • The Odyssey by Homer - I'll probably precede this with the e-book of the Iliad. I haven't got a paper copy of the full work.
  • The Art of War by Sun Tzu - This was a graduation present. I've been wanting to read it for years. Especially since Wesley Snipes was kind of hot in the movie.
  • The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi - Also a grad present. Looks really interesting.
  • Paradise Lost by John Milton
  • The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy
  • Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
  • All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
  • Outbound Flight by Timothy Zahn - I actually bought this a month or two ago, but have been saving it until I could have time to enjoy it properly. Grand Admiral Thrawn mustn't be rushed, after all.
I'm also going to read The Da Vinci Code, since I figure I ought to read it before I continue bashing it, and Foucault's Pendulum since I enjoyed The Name of the Rose by the same author (Umberto Eco), and Ace's commendation got me interested. And whatever else I pick up at the library.

And yes, I read wicked fast.

Bollywood

This is far too much fun. Thanks to IB, Ace, and Dave @ GR, who has a contest going.

Here are the ones I've made:

PLV Takes on Dave in Texas

Being into Betsy

A Trip to the Doctor

The last word, "listen," got cut off in that last one.

17 May 2006

Er...

Sexuality survey for high-schoolers:
1) What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2) When did you decide you were heterosexual?
3) Could it be that your heterosexuality is just a phase?
4) To whom have you disclosed your heterosexuality? How did they react?
5) If you have never slept with someone of your same gender, then how do you know you wouldn't prefer it?
6) Is it likely that you have (sic) just haven't' met the right same gender partner yet?
7) Why do you flaunt your lifestyle with wedding rings, photos at work and talk of your heterosexual escapades?
8) Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to come on to me, but why do so many heterosexuals try to seduce others to their orientation?
9) Considering the battering abuse and divorce rate associated with heterosexual coupling, why would you want to enter into that kind of relationship?
10) Why do you heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
RWS's answers were pretty good.

I must say, this survey is pretty damn inappropriate for teenagers.

And how about if everyone just shuts the hell up about their sex lives? You don't see me posting tales of hot nerd sex, no matter how many natural 20s I've rolled in my time.


Update: Okay, Ace can talk about his sex life. (MAJOR content warning. Also, keyboard and monitor damage warning in the event that you are consuming a beverage.) But he's the only one.

Bad Mood Rising

Anyone got any suggestions for something or someone I can flame the shit out of without any hurt feelings resulting?

Or maybe I'll just go run and get some endorphins goin'. Mmm, endorphins.

14 May 2006

I am now officially graduated!

WHOOP!

06 May 2006

In more personal news

I have decided to eschew Dr. Pepper permanently.

05 May 2006

Even A&M has its moonbats.

Jason Deuterman of the Battalion reviews United 93:
The only drawback is the placing of Muslims, or perhaps even the Islamic faith as a whole, in a bad light. It in no way instills patriotism within the viewer's heart, and instead places a shroud of anger over the viewer, worthy of a Michael Moore documentary, in turn blinding one from the true themes of the film - heroism and sacrifice. One scene features Muslim prayers being trumped by the passengers praying "The Lord's Prayer." Greengrass is blatantly taking a stab at the Islamic faith, as there is no disclaimer at the end of the film mentioning that the terrorists were religious zealots and that Islam does not teach the murdering of thousands through martyrdom.
Really? Islam doesn't teach that? Could have fooled me.

MEMO TO ISLAMISTS: If you want to be called the "Religion of Peace" without a sarcastic "(TM)" following, then maybe you should stop fucking murdering people in the name of your religion.
The tone set by the film created the wrong effect in the audience. Viewers hollered and clapped as the passengers of the flight began savagely assaulting the terrorists. One can only beg the question as to whether or not this is the emotion that the American public should leave the theater with.
One can only wonder just where you learned the definition of "begging the question." Dumbass. I'll let your opinion regarding the inhumanity of "savagely assaulting" people who were in the process of murdering an entire airplaneful of innocents speak for itself.
To put it simply, "United 93" serves as salt in a re-opened wound. If you want to be entertained, do not go see this film. But if you wish to see a well-crafted masterpiece exhibiting all the elements of human chaos combined with experiencing the raw emotion and heroism as demonstrated by all those involved in the 9/11 tragedy, you will not be let down.
What was that? The "heroism as demonstrated by all those involved"?

"All those"?

So now it's heroic to murder three thousand innocent people?

Suddenly I'm reevaluating just what you meant by saying the "true themes of the film" are "heroism and sacrifice."

You sick bastard. There are no words to describe the level of contempt and disgust I have for you.

And September 11th was an atrocity, not a tragedy.

Thanks to blamecandida for pointing out the article.

04 May 2006

King Tut's Missing Member Materializes Once More

Disappeared dick discovered:
King Tutankhamun's rediscovered penis could make the pharaoh stand out in the shrunken world of male mummies, according to a close look into old pictures of the 3,300-year-old mummified king.

The formerly missing sex organ has been just another puzzle in the story of the best-known pharaoh of ancient Egypt.

Photographed intact by Harry Burton (1879-1940) during Howard Carter's excavation of Tut's tomb in 1922, the royal penis was reported missing in 1968, when British scientist Ronald Harrison took a series of X-rays of the mummy.

Speculation abounded that the penis had been stolen and sold.

I know I'd be in the market for a pharaoh's phallus.
"Instead, it has always been there. I found it during the CT scan last year, when the mummy was lifted. It lay loose in the sand around the king's body. It was mummified," Zahi Hawass, chief of Egypt's Supreme Council of Antiquities, told Discovery News.

At first look, Burton's pictures may seem to indicate that King Tut could have been a little better endowed. But according to mummy expert Eduard Egarter Vigl, the pharaoh was normally built...

"The pharaoh's sex organ is clearly visible in Burton's pictures. All was normal in King Tut. The penis is a highly vascularized organ and shrinks when it is mummified. Actually, King Tut has been flattered by the embalmers' work..." Egarter told Discovery News.
So, not just a mummified penis, but a mummified shrinky dink. Oh yes, I'd definitely check Ebay daily for a prize like that.